19 weeks

19 weeks today, its astonishing really, and I dont have much to say other than I am trying not to fall apart, not for me..but for my babies, for some reason its hurting like hell today, I have been running around keeping busy, but busy means interacting with normal families, and thats hard for me, when one of your friends is talking to you on the phone and says to there kids 'go ask daddy, I am on the phone' it kind of hits me all over again that my kids dont have a daddy...and I wish, oh i wish that people would stop judging me, a nice word is lovely, but a negative word sticks...thats all, i really am not in the best of places right now, hibernating with my babies over the weekend.....this will pass