building foundations...

Well I decided I need to really start trying to work on what happens in the future, the days seem to merge into one long stretch of time at the minute, my focus is trying to get some support to help the kids, help them deal with anger I guess, connor is very angry, and I guess he takes it out on me because he doesn't know what else to do, I love my babies with all my heart, some days are really lots harder than others, I have been hunting around to find any ideas that might help and stumbled across a fair few charities, all of which I have contacted, I also booked myself onto a 'widowed young' weekend, I hope meeting people who can really understand how I feel will give me a chance to deal with issues that I really cant talk to other people about, I feel it really is about time that things changed for the better, I am getting to the point where I feel I really am starting to push people away and I hate that, but I know I cant spend the rest of my life shut away..it wasnt my fault, I am also working really hard to get back into new premises and show the kids life really does go on, new chapters?